You, and every child has a right to BE SAFE, and to FEEL SAFE in your home, in school, and when out and about where you live.
Sometimes, some children might not be safe if someone is doing something that hurts them, or maybe not doing the things that are needed to make sure they are safe and well. Harm or abuse can be lots of different things. It can be things like physical injury, verbal abuse, sexual abuse or lack of care. Nobody has the right to harm you. Nobody has the right to make you do things that feel wrong.
We know talking about these things can be really hard. You might feel embarrassed. You might be worried about what will happen. You might even feel that you are to blame and be scared that nobody will believe you. It’s normal to have these feelings. This website is here to help answer some questions you might have.
If any of these things are happening to you, you should tell an adult you can trust. You can get ideas about who can help and what might happen if you so by clicking each of the questions on the first page.
- Physical Abuse
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Physical abuse happens when someone deliberately hurts you by hitting, kicking, shaking, things being thrown at you, burning, strangling, suffocating or poisoning. If these things happen you might have injuries such as cuts, bruises, burns and broken bones. Sometimes these injuries will be hidden under clothes so no one else can see them.
It’s also physical abuse if a parent or carer makes up or causes you to be ill. For example, they may give you medicine you really don’t need, or tell a doctor or nurse that you are sick or have something else wrong when you don’t. If the doctor believes your parents or carer you might even get operations or be kept in hospital when you don’t need to be. This is called Fabricated (making up) Induced (making it happen) Illness. This hardly happens, but if you think it is happening to you please tell someone you trust.
- Neglect
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Neglect happens when the person who should be taking care of you does not do that job properly a lot of the time. They don’t make sure that all your physical and emotional needs are taken care off.
Neglect is when you don’t have what you need at home, like enough food, clean clothes that fit properly, that you can have a bath or shower often, and that your house is safe and clean. Sometimes if you don’t get the clean clothes and washed when needed other children might bully you. This is wrong and you should tell.
It could be neglect if a parent doesn’t make sure they know where you are, especially if it is late at night and that you are not left alone or with someone who does not take good care of them. It can also be neglect if you are not taken to a doctor or dentist when you should be. It is also neglect if you are late or miss school when you don’t have to.
If these things happen often it will usually mean you will not be as well and heathy as you could be and it also effects how you grow and develop.
- Emotional Abuse
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Emotional Abuse happens when a parent or carer hurts your feelings on purpose and that this happens over and over again. Emotional Abuse can be shouting or threatening you or calling you names and never saying nice or kind things. It can also be Emotional Abuse if you are ignored most of the time and hardly ever get praise or cuddles. It could be always blaming you for things that are not your fault, or maybe expecting you to do grown up things like look after other people in your family. Thing that make you feel bad about yourself.
It is also Emotional Abuse if you are not allowed to have any friends (not just that sometimes your parents’ don’t like some of your friends) are made fun of and embarrassed in front of other people. It can also be Emotional Abuse if you see things that are not right, such as drug taking, drinking too much alcohol or seeing one of your parents’ being hurt by the other.
- Sexual Abuse
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Sexual Abuse happens when someone asks you to do something with your body or theirs that makes you feel uncomfortable or scared. This is wrong. This might be someone seeing, touching or kissing your private parts, that is the bits of your body that would usually be covered by your underwear, or asking you to touch their private parts. It doesn’t matter if the touching is on top of your clothes, this is not okay. Someone touching your private parts in this way is sexual abuse. Sometimes a doctor, a nurse or your parents’ might have to touch your private parts if need to have cream put on any sore bits, this is not abuse, but if it worries you, tell someone you trust. Abuse is wrong, and you have the right to speak out and stay safe.
It's wrong for someone to take pictures of your private parts and it's also against the law. No one should ask you to look at pictures or videos that make you feel uncomfortable. Telling someone about it can make it stop.
Remember, not matter what the person abusing you has said - it's not your fault if this has happened.
If you would like to know more click these links:
Underwear rules
Underwear rule video
Think you are safe? - Bullying
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Bullying happens when someone is unkind on purpose. It can happen anywhere, like at school, at home or online. And it can happen to anyone. Everyone falls out with friends from time to time and sometimes friends can argue or disagree but when the argument or disagreement turns in to name calling, hitting or unkind behaviour which is upsetting to you, it can turn into bullying.
Bullying can include someone:
- Calling you names: It's ok to joke around with your friends and call each other silly names if you are all having fun and if you feel safe. But bullying is when someone is calling you names to upset you on purpose.- Pushing or hitting you: Sometimes playing games can get a bit rough, but if someone is hurting you on purpose then this is bullying.
- Making you feel left out: This could be someone telling other people not to be friendly to you. It could also be someone embarrassing you or not letting you join in with them.
- Cyber-bullying: Is the name given to bullying that happens on email, mobile phones, websites and gaming machines where someone sends unkind messages, shares images or photos without your permission or uses the internet to tell tales about you.
- Saying Something Bad will happen to you: If someone is saying they will hurt you or doing something to upset you, this is threatening and it is wrong and it is important to tell an adult you trust.
Bullying can be very hard to cope with, it can make you think you've done something wrong or that you deserve to be treated badly. It can make you not want to go to school, see friends or do activities you usually enjoy.
If you or someone you know is being bullied, it can help to talk to someone you trust like a parent or carer, a family member or someone at school like a teacher or support worker.
- Online or Internet Abuse
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Online or Internet Abuse Being online chatting to friends or playing games can be good fun, but like in the ‘real’ world sometimes, some people can use the internet in ways that are not fun. It is not easy to always know who you are playing a game with or talking to and some people pretend they are someone they are not. Sometimes adults can pretend to be a child, even using a photograph of a child to trick you. It is important that you do not share information on the internet about where you live, the school who go to or things about you or where you live, that might make it easy for someone to find out these private things about you. Most of the abuse we have talked about in the bits above can also happen online, such as Bullying, Emotional Abuse and Sexual Abuse. It can be really hard to deal with Online Abuse as those people hurting you can contact you even when you might feel you are safe in home or school.
It is not okay for anyone to ask you to take photos of your private parts and share them on line. This is sexual abuse and often people asking you to do this will then share these photos with other people, or threaten to do this if you tell anyone what is happening. If anything is happening online that upsets you or make you feel bad it is really important that you tell someone you trust.
If you would like to know more visit Thinkuknow.co.uk
- Domestic Abuse
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Domestic Abuse Domestic abuse (also called domestic violence) happens when one person hurts or bullies another person who is their partner or who is in the same family. Domestic abuse can also happen after a relationship has finished. Usually (but not always) it is the man who is the abuser and the woman who gets hurt. It can be very frightening if this is happening in your family if you are seeing or hearing the abuse going on. It can be upsetting to see someone you love being hurt, or harmed in other ways. It can be scary especially as the abuse can happen without warning and this might make you feel nervous or worried a lot. You might also be scared that you will get hurt. Even if the person who is the abuser doesn’t live in your house anymore, you might worry that they will come to the house sometimes, or even come back for good. Sometimes your worries will be with you all of the time and effect how you are with friends or effect your work in school. Domestic abuse happens in many families and often this is something that all the family keep secret. Keeping a secret does not help stop the bad things happening. There are people that can help you and your family. Everyone has the right to be and feel safe.